'Back to a part that he calls a metamorphosis of life'

No. 3

2011-12-10T15:03:00.001+10:00

F you were born on the:

1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month you are number 1.

2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then you are number 2.

3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then you are number 3.

4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then you are Number 4.

5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then you are number 5.

6th, 15th, 24th of any month then you are number 6.

7th, 16th, 25th of any month then you are number 7.

8th, 17th, 26th of any month then you are number 8.

9th, 18th, 27th of any month then you are number 9.

Number 1

You are smart, a straight talker, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest, jealous

on a competitive basis, kind hearted, temperamental, friendly, and popular. You

always want to be on the top and most likely to be independent. You are most

likely to fall in love at a young age, but will marry once you mature! You are

likely to have problems with people who have opposite views and you are most

likely to take revenge over your enemies in a long time basis. You are a

spender, but you will have a good profession in the future. If you are guy you

will be very popular. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of

the parliament because you are positive and talented in numerous areas. But in

your life you will always have some people who will work hard to bring you &

your name down. Because of your intelligence, some might hate you. You are a

pioneer, independent & original your best match is 4, 6, 8 while a good match

would be with 3,5,7

Number 2

No matter what, every one will love you because you are ruled by the Moon. You

day dream a lot, you have a very low-self esteem, you need to have a back up for

every move in your life, you are very unpredictable. You tend to change

according to time and circumstances, selfish, have a very strong sense of

musical and artistic talent and powerful verbal communication. You can be sweet

as an angel and can be ruthless when double-crossed. Some might say you have a

sixth sense. You will become a poet, writer, an artist or a businessperson. You

are not strong in love, so your relationship will be in disarray until you

settle down. If you are a girl, you will be responsible for your family. If you

are a man, you tend to get involve in fights & arguments in the family. You will

sacrifice your life for your family. You are gentle, intuitive with a broad

vision. You make a well-balanced person. Your best match is 2, 7,5, and 9 no

other people can put up with you!!!

Number 3

You are hardhearted and selfish most of the time. You always tend to have lots

of problems within your family in the early stages but you will be able to cope

with everything. You seem to have your way in everything. And from birth you

would always have to work hard to achieve anything you want. You always make a

point to set examples on others, especially the younger ones. Generally you are

not a cool person. It's not easy dealing with you. A tough player you are! But

once you are comfortable with someone, it will be a lasting friendship. You

always earn respect from others. Your Ilk seems to have lots of worries and

problems but they won't be for long. You will have brilliant kids! You love

money a bit too much so temptation will push you to try endlessly. You will look

after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being

generous and kind (except for men born on the 21st). You love your freedom,

creative and ambitious, a person who brings beauty, hope & joy to this world!!!

Your best match 6 and 9. Good match 1, 3, and 5

Number 4

You are very stubborn, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in

life, very cool and helpful. You might repel people away from you, you may cause

nuisance to others if you area man, as you gifted are with understanding other

people's problems. If you are a girl, you excel in your studies and arts. If you

are a guy you spend most of your time with girl friends and you tend to have too

much fun with your mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and

get on with their life and you will be left empty handed. So be careful! You

love to spend. Your positive side is that you are always around to help family

and friends. You always fall in love with those younger than you. You often live

with disappointments but you will take good care of your family. You need to be

careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart (ahaks!). And

beware of your relationships too. You are radical, patient, persistent, and a

hit old-fashioned; you live with foundation & order. Your best match 1, 8. Good

match 5, 6, and 7

Number 5

You are very popular and you can get things done only by talking. Even to your

enemies! You are business-minded and like to do things spontaneously. You will

be famous if you get involved in any business. Your friends and families will

always ask for your help, and you are the one actually with the money to help

your friends. You will have more than one relationship, but when you settle down

you tend to be selfish. You tend to go for other relationships - even if you are

married at times because of your popularity. You tend to get along easily with

anyone because the numbers is a middle number. You love freedom and changes. You

learn your life through your personal experiences. Your best match 1, 2, Good

match 6, 8.

Number 6

Ooopppss... You were born to enjoy! You don't care about others. I mean you

always wanted to have a lifetime of enjoyment. You will excel in either

education or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people

who you think are nice), and popular. All good things come easily to you. Your

mind and body is just made perfect for love. You are loveable by any number. But

if you are a number 6 men, you will be involved in more than a few relationships

until you get married. If you are a girl, most of you will get married/engaged

early. You are a caring person towards your family and friends. You are a person

of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and

after all you can heal this world's wounds to make peace for everyone because

you have the great power and caring talent to take the world of love one step

further.. Your best match 7, 6, and 9. Good match 4, 5

Number 7

You are realistic, confident, happy, and talented in education, music, art,

singing, and most importantly in acting. You also have a bad temper! You value

your family status a lot; you will be in the top rank when you reach a certain

age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls. Most of the number 7s faces

lots of problems with their married life. Only a few are happy. You have

everything in your life but with worries throughout your lifetime. You need to

get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don't, then you

might end-up being single. You are born to contribute to everyone's joy. Your

best match is 2. Good matches are 1, 4

Number 8

You have a very strong personality and people will find it hard to understand

you. You are more likely to suffer in your younger years. You might be also the

one responsible to look out for your family. You often suffer all the way

through life. You will learn life in a very practical way. You are the one who

will fight for justice and may even die in the war too. You are normally very

reserved with a handful of friends and most of the time, live life alone and

always prepared to help others. However, once you settle down, (which is often

late), then your had lucks will disappear. You will face unexpected problems

such as encountering poisonous animals, and accidents. You are highly-

disciplined, persistence, and courageous, and it is your strength that will take

you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter! Your

Best match 1, 4 and 8. Good match 5

Number 9

You guys are the most incompatible people in the world. You are so strong,

physically and mentally. You often have big-aims. You will work hard and will

think it's still hard to get there, even if you already have gotten there!

Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will

have to fight in life. You are respected by others. You were however very

naughty in your childhood, and often got beaten up by your parents and had been

involved in fights and you seemed to have suffered lots of injuries. But when

you grow older you become calm and will fall into the quiet and dignified macho

type. Love is not an easy matter for you. You are however good in engineering or

banking jobs because people always trust you. Your family life is very good, but

you will always worry over your children. Your finer qualities are that you are

humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate. You are born to achieve

targets and serve every one equally without any prejudice. You are a role model

for everyone. Your best match 3, 5, 6, and 9. Good match

This man literally feels to cry.

2011-11-18T21:12:00.002+10:00

During my Cohort 5 farewell dinner speech, I did quote one of this most inspiring figure called Steve Job.

This man, which I think not everybody loves, but strangely effects me in some ways of life.

His last words before he got to close his eyes.

"Oh, wow! Oh, wow! Oh, wow!"

Very strange indeed. Quite a 'special' way of saying goodbye, which I think not everybody would think of.

and now, when I think I am so screwed up,
how I wish I could do as him.

p.s: An 'intrapersonal' man seems stupid at the beginning, but appears to be the smart one at the end. But, lets think what happen between the beginning until its end. He is probably a man who might suffer most the life crisis.

you don't think so.

2011-11-09T21:48:00.001+10:00

Some little things from someone that I care make me feeling better eventhough you might not think so.

hm.

Twitter.

2011-10-28T22:07:00.002+10:00

I tweet a lot these days.

and Randi Zuckerberg is a sister to Mark. meh?

Big A.

2011-10-16T23:35:00.002+10:00

Do we actually realise that without us knowing, certain people might find us a bit Annoying?

Today. Tomorrow.

2011-10-16T12:53:00.000+10:00

Say you?

This is Life we are talking about.

2011-10-15T10:39:00.003+10:00

Out of so many questions, this is one of the questions which I don't think I still have the right answer yet.

"What exactly is the reason that you are still single at the age of 23?"

Some people have been kept asking, and I could just spill any relevant answer though; come to think of it, does the given answer actually match the intuition as a being?

kalau aku terlambat untuknya dalam kelahiran ini. aku doakan untuk kelahiran seterusnya (Handkerchief Merah, 2011)

Said him.

2011-09-29T10:12:00.001+10:00

seorang budak perempuan kecil

riben merah dirambutnya

manis senyumnya

dan matanya pesona

seorang budak lelaki kecil

bruises di kaki gempalnya

lesung pipit dipangkal senyumnya

dan matanya berkaca

bila cinta temukan mereka

budak lelaki dan perempuan itu

cantumkan senyuman mereka

pegang tangan dan langkah bersama

lori ikan datang

dan gilis kedua mereka

mati katak lalu terkeluar otak

namun tetap comel jua

dunia selalu begitu

celaka dimana-mana

(Handkerchief Merah, 2011)

Gloomy.

2011-09-27T09:46:00.001+10:00

Second day of last week of practical.

The gloomy weather.

It will be never the same on next week, on the same day.

Could be true.

2011-09-20T11:14:00.002+10:00

The successful ones always try to create some histories.

Mugen.

2011-09-06T11:05:00.003+10:00

Bisikan suara kecil selepas membaca suatu artikel:

"Jangan dipersoalkan bagaimana nikmat itu diberi. Tuhan itu, jika dia hendak memberi hidayah, walau kita sekalipun sedang beri, dia tetap akan memberinya,"

*Beri : Membuang air besar.

Fav line.

2011-09-05T14:50:00.008+10:00

For some reasons, I simply love watching Rocky Balboa movie. Yesterday was actually my 5 or 6th times since the first time it had been released; one of the most top watching movies in my list after Fast and furious. It gives lotsa impacts to me not just because its storyline, but also the employment of its philosophical lines and plenty of useful msgs.

I particularly envy this one line during his struggling to fight his less-gentleman opponent in the ring in the final scene.

"Remember, what did you tell your kid? It's not a matter how hard you can hit, it's how hard you can stand the hits"

A little confession.

2011-09-05T14:32:00.002+10:00

I don't actually find having a special relationship is the most necessary for now, but it has been quite bothering me in some ways these days.

Real honest.

Thank you.

2011-08-24T12:16:00.002+10:00

Alhamdulilah.

The bet is totally paid off.

Kids behaved and cooperated very well during the session.

Supervisor is happy too.

Alhamdulilah.

Thank you kids.

My graceful bet

2011-08-23T12:42:00.001+10:00

Rotational learning is the bet for tomorrow. Let's see how it goes.

Short and sweet

2011-08-13T17:22:00.001+10:00

Cukup indah mimpi tadi; walaupun sebentar.

Ber'busking' di Queenstreet.
Stargazing di QUT.
Banyak lagi.

Indahnya.

Please understand.

2011-08-10T21:13:00.002+10:00

Please understand that I rarely talk and share my things with others.

So, whenever I tell you that I need you, that shows I really need you.

The kids need me.

2011-08-09T12:34:00.002+10:00

I could actually be the laziest bum on earth to a certain extent, I would say.

Every morning, as in early in the morning, the only thing that motivates me to move from bed is "The kids need me in school"

Yes, that could be the most cliche ever; if you assumed being an effective educator is that easy (shake the bon-bons and stuffs), why don't you give yourself at least a shot?

Stop being judgemental.

2011-08-09T12:05:00.005+10:00

"@FactAboutBoyz: Three biggest lies from a guy's mouth: 1. I'm not that type of guy. 2. I won't hurt you. 3. I'm sorry."

No one is perfect though, but come on. Don't make this as a sweeping statement to every man just because you met the wrong person. Get yourself out from your own narrow-mindedness, and start to deeply think from various perspectives.

Well, you can't actually deny the fact that everyone lies at least 12times per day (This is definitely not a sweeping statement as how you made it; I came across this somewhere in gender research paper). So, the lies of "Im not that type of PERSON", "I won't hurt you" and "Im sorry", I believe do not solely come from the 'a guys' mouth', but it also probably,or I would say WILL come from the other direction which is 'GIRLS'.

Think wisely before you being pointlessly vocal.

Kids.

2011-08-06T21:18:00.002+10:00

Place: Year 4 Gemilang.

Situation :

During monthly test (Students surprisingly finished the papers minutes earlier).

Me: All right, I would like all of you to make sure that you check your papers back. Make sure all the answers and spellings are correct. OK?

Student A (very smart-looking kid): The papers are very thick sir, but questions are easy.

Me: *Feel challenging* OK, If that's the case, make sure you got hundred. If one of you happened to fail the paper, I might call your mum.

Student B : Sir, saya beri handphone no mak saya dulu ye? Sbb, sy confirm fail. (Translation: Sir, why don't I give you my mum's handphone no first? Because, I know that I will fail)

Me: Student B, check your answer again. Make sure everything is correct. Sternly smile. *They are just being kids* =)

Bored.

2011-08-02T12:15:00.003+10:00

I am a happy man if I were asked to be in class now; meeting with kids and do some teachings rather than just rotting at the staffroom.

Not a good day to start.

Beranikah engkau?

2011-07-20T14:16:00.003+10:00

Ini bukanlah permulaan,

bukan juga pertengahan,

mahupun pengakhiran.

Ini mungkin perjalanan atau sesuatu yang engkau langsung tidak pernah fikirkan.

Beranikah engkau?

The world is getting interesting.

2011-06-09T12:30:00.009+10:00

Si Abang dan si Adik perlu ingat. Dikala ayah sedang sakit, mengapa kalian perlu bertelagah?

Sebagai seorang yang rapat, saya faham situasi anda.

Si Abang: Kamu seorang yang baran, boleh berkelakuan kurang rasional pada waktu tertentu. Tetapi, saya yakin anda boleh lebih bersabar. Anda juga boleh saya katakan lebih bertanggungjawab berbanding yang lain-lain.

Si Adik (Perempuan): Kamu pula, susah saya hendak gambarkan. Ego yang melampau-lampau. Suka memberontak. Entahlah. Tetapi, cuba melatih diri untuk bersabar? Sebab dunia ini dijadikan untuk kongsi bersama.

Si Ayah: Sakit.

Saya pula, tidak boleh terlalu masuk campur didalam hal kamu si Abang dan si Adik. Tetapi, boleh ke tidak kamu berdua cuba bersabar? Tidak banyak saya pinta, cuma bersabar dan sedikit bertoleransi. Sekurang-kurangnya untuk situasi ini.

Fahamkan?

p.s: Jika semua orang boleh berfikir dengan lebih rasional, mungkin peperangan dan konfliks akan kurang berlaku. Mungkin?

ain't in a mood.

2011-06-06T17:10:00.003+10:00

Yes, certain things on Facebook really get me pissed off.

Maybe I should deactivate it for a while.

2011-06-05T12:41:00.001+10:00

Chapter 101 - Ini bukan masalah 'siapa lupa kawan', tapi sudah agak penat dipijak-pijak dan diperhanjingkan.

p.s: Maaf. Aku xsemudah itu.

New tweet: I f*cking hate you.

2011-06-03T13:23:00.004+10:00

Yes, twitter is definitely not so a new thing for most people even for me. I have registered for a twitter account like very ages ago, but for some reasons I don't really find it that fancy (Well, probably because everyone was excitedly talking more about FB rather than twitter during that time). So yesterday, when I tried to make some efforts logging in into my account; did some retweets and @mention, twitter is interesting though. Yes, it was odd, bizarre and strange kind of feeling at the beginning.

But, yes, it's slowly getting fun. =)

p.s: Yes, you keep crawling on my mind, and I f*cking hate it. Real honest.

B*bi!

2011-05-18T17:40:00.004+10:00

B*bi!
B*bi!
B*bi!

Come to think of it, well, I don't think that I even lost any penny for your unethical act. Hearing that how serious you were cursing like shit at me (and hey, I am not saying that I do not swear); at least, I realize that I'm not being as cheap as you especially when it comes to a hanky-panky thing.

*Peace*

p.s: Hati perlu dididik; supaya kita tidak mudah melatah.

3.49pm, IPBA.

Mungkinkah?

2011-05-17T18:59:00.006+10:00

Akhir-akhir ini, saya selalu terfikir.

Jika andaikata hari ini adalah hari terakhir untuk saya bernafas dengan diri ini, adakah atau mungkinkah saya diingati, dirindui pada hari-hari yang akan mendatang?

5.03pm, IPBA.

...

2011-05-11T14:20:00.001+10:00

Makan hati dan bermain dengan perasaan.

R for ran-shit-ness.

2011-05-08T12:03:00.005+10:00

When you think, being a hypocrite is a part of randomness, well, you are simply cheap in that way.

All right, maybe I'm wrong in that sense. Well, again, everyone has different views about randomness.

So, what say you?

50-50

2011-05-03T18:06:00.006+10:00

Berjuang seorang diri mungkin tidak mudah.
Pastinya sukar.
Kemenangan pun mungkin 50-50.

Tidak percaya?
Cuba sendiri.

Tapi, kalau diiringi dengan 'sebilah pisau' dan sebatang panji',
mungkin,...
mungkin sahaja.
mungkin lebih bersemangat.
tidaklah seperti seolah-olah membunuh diri.

Terima kasih kerana mendoakan saya.
Terima kasih yang tidak terhingga.
Terima kasih.

Diam bukan bermakna noktah,

2011-05-01T13:39:00.002+10:00

Maaf kerana tinggal tanpa berita. Saya sibuk, tapi saya OK.

Exam minggu hadapan. Doakan saya semoga berjaya.

p.s: Oh, saya menyedari akan penambahan followers saya. Terima kasih kepada anda semua.

Oh!

2011-04-07T23:57:00.002+10:00

Bila sudah ber'bf', yang so-called fucking close friend pun ini diketepikan. Like you and me, we are just nothing.

p.s: The notion seems repeating like everyday these days among close mates. How strange is that.

...

2011-03-29T09:41:00.000+10:00

Kalaulah saya mampu....

coolest?

2011-03-24T17:51:00.003+10:00

Dr. A: You seem the coolest when some others look quite stressful dwelling about assignments in my class.

Me: Well, I guess, I'm just trying to be an optimist, perceive things positively. *Laugh*

p.s: Definitely no one knows how things can be a roller-coaster in everyone's heart.
p.s.s: And yes, this is definitely not a narcissistic post.

Busy week, ay?

2011-03-22T22:51:00.004+10:00

It's another freaking busy week ay?

Syndromes have been identified:

Consistently yawning in lecture hall.
*even worst to listen from enthusiastic-yet-boring-yet-have-high-expectation-about-students lecturers*
Severely off-tasking. Even just looking at that frigging air conditioner.
And yes, pretty dearly to word.

Woh! another freaking week for a TESOL student. Again.

*I shall change 'Woh' to 'Sweet as!'*

Sweet as! another freaking week for a TESOL student. Again.

p.s: I'm pretty curios how 'Sweet as!' could magically turn me to be yes, slightly optimistic.

Happy?

2011-03-09T09:37:00.003+10:00

"You are most afraid when you are happy"

The moment when Cuddy told that to House, I could feel that the message does not solely going to him; it came approaching me as well. Reflection for action, I believe. She really made sense of how certain things work in life which I have came across it before, but never care much to think in deep about it. That's probably a reason why we need the other person on our side, so that we could do the reality checks more often.

p.s: I believe that being yourself and trying to fulfill others' needs are both different notions.

little unusual

2011-03-02T15:44:00.004+10:00

Things are seemed little unusual today.
For unknown reasons.

I don't know.
I just feel strange with everything around me.
The people, the routine, the morning.
It tastes bizarre
I feel somehow that I have lost something or perhaps missing.
I don't know
My headache is going pretty bad at the moment.
My hair does not go curl as how it always does.
I just don't talk much and rather spend myself alone in library or room.

Ah, I just don't do usual things that I always do.

non-perfect

2011-02-27T13:47:00.005+10:00

Yes, I ain't a perfect creature,
but can we at least be a Good and Genuine person?

Well, don't call me a brat when you are the first one who started to act selfish.

Two.

2011-02-26T11:36:00.002+10:00

Two things that I feel everybody should have realized since the first day of their born:

1. Dreaming is just a part of sleeping game. It's hardly to be truth.
2. People frequently come, but they always go.

Congratulation.

2011-02-20T13:35:00.007+10:00

Twas sort of a depressing day for me yesterday. Pretty sudden. But that's not really the intention of me writing this post today.

In this short post, I would like to congratulate to all these my lovely people for their excellent achievement during our two years in Brisbane. Man! I know I did not get a chance to congratulate to each of you, but let's make this an official collective wish from me to everyone of you.

You guys really deserve for the award, and everything seemed paid off.

*Clap2*

- Pavi.
- Erma.
- Hanis.
- Kak Long.
- Aisyah.
- Nija.
- Dyane.

p.s: Come to think of it, I wonder what I have done in Brisbane for two years. LOL.

Less f*cked up.

2011-02-12T19:05:00.003+10:00

I'm pretty considerate when it comes to dealing with messy life.

*OK, I probably burst out at times. Fair enough.*

But, most of the times, if anything didn't go that right or probably seemed looking wrong,
I love putting myself in a position of rationalization.
Rather than losing my own counts or even worst simply putting a blame to another person;
I prefer to do some productive reflection for my own future purpose.

Like:
Why That is not right?
Why always He/She is right?
Why Everything does not go in my own way?

These types of question, you won't find the answer in a very short period.
It might probably take longer than expected for you to discover the answer.

But trust me,
reflection always makes you to feel less f*cked up.
Don't shock, you might enjoy it!

A root as the Reflection.

2011-02-09T15:56:00.005+10:00

If I were given a picture of tree to symbolize Life; I would say its root might pretty much explain the notion of Reflection.

p.s: There are always ups and definitely downs in life.

Bongeks.

2011-02-04T01:38:00.002+10:00

"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."

(abraham lincon, n.d.)

Wise.
Simple, but indeed deep.

Hello Taman Megah! Bongeks.

Cynical.

2011-02-02T19:53:00.004+10:00

Surprisingly, cynical is the best word I have so far. Fuh.

So, feel free to characterize me using your own words or probably whatever slang you might have (If you do). Heh.

===> http://threewords.me/thezam

Menjadi terbaik adalah pilihan yang tidak semua orang ada.

2011-02-01T23:08:00.006+10:00

OK.
Saya sedikit terkilan hari ini. Atas sebab-sebab tertentu.
Bukan sebab yang besar pun.

Sebab yang kecil,
tapi membuat saya terfikir hampir segala perkara dalam hidup ini.

Begini, saya cuba menyelamatkan seekor anak kucing hari ini.
Comel. Gebu. Cantik.
Kekelabuan dan sedikit belang-belang hitam dibelakang badannya.
Tapi, kelihatan malang. Kakinya patah. Berjalan pun ala-ala Man Dengkot.
Memang Kasihan.

Emak didalam kereta.
"Nampak anak kucing itu" sambil menuding jari.

Saya terpusing-pusing.
"Mana?"
Terpusing lagi.

"Dibawah kereta Harrier itu. Mata kau buta ke?"
Sedikit radikal jawapannya kali ini.
Biasalah, kami memang typical orang johor.
Bukan pemarah sahaja, bergurau pun kadang-kadang ala-ala gurau kera.
Memang keras.

OK,saya sambung semula.

"Oh, nampak. Kasihan. Macam patah je kakinya"

"Nak buat pahala?"
Mak mengutarakan cadangan.

Tiba-tiba.
Menggunakan perkataan yang memeranjatkan spiritual saya.
Sedikit blur.

Tiba-tiba sekali lagi,
mentol muncul dihujung kepala.

"Ohhhh"
Sepantas kilat,saya dengan lantasnya turun dari kereta, membuka bonet, dan terus mencapai beberapa helai tisu (OK, hampir satu kotak tisu sebenarnya).

Orang ramai mula mendongak-dongak kepalanya. Menunjuk-nunjuk jari.
Melihat saya. M
elihat macam tidak pernah melihat orang. Ish.

"Budus!" Hamun dalam hati saya.

Saya peduli apa. Pahala punya pasal.
Saya terus bergerak,
dan terus bergerak menuju ke anak kucing itu.
Duduk sahaja si kecil itu.
Diam.

Tiba-tiba, Harrier bergerak.

"Chill uncle! Ada anak kucing dekat bawah kereta ni"
Pakcik senyum.
Saya masih dgn muka ketat.
Misi sedikit terganggu.

OK.
Kereta dah tiada.
Si kecil masih disitu.
Sakit sangat agaknya.

Tiba-tiba,
ada suara lantang perempuan dari belakang.

"Ada monyet"

*Ish, menganggu betul. Misi penting ni.Mahu jadi hero pun susah*

Saya paling ke belakang.

"What da heck! Monyet dowh"

*Mula mengira*

"Lapan kot. Banyak nak mampus ni"

Tiba-tiba teringat cerita bayi kena bunuh dengan monyet.
Serius berlaku.

Mula sedikit panik.
Tapi, muka still ketat.
Tiba-tiba ada batu dkt sebelah.
*Dan-dan je banyak batu*
Scene semakin menarik.
*evil laugh dalam hati*

Berdiri dengan gagah. Batu ditangan.
Pencubaan gaya-gaya melontar batu-batu kearah monyet.
Sambil menghentak-hentak kaki dengan harapan gerombolan monyet itu lari.
Monyet tidak bergerak langsung.
Mula menunjuk gigi-gigi taring mereka.

Si kucing kecil masih dibelakang.

*Rasa macam dalam scene ala-ala abang cuba menyelamat adik daripada geng kaki pukul budak sekolah*

Saya cuba mara kali. Monyet-monyet semakin berani.
Mula kehadapan.

Saya mencarut.
"S*al!"

Emak didalam kereta mula menekan horn rapidly.
Tiba-tiba,
geng si monyet ini terus melompat.
Betul-betul dihadapan saya.

Saya sepatutnya menendang mereka.
Tapi, lupa cara nak menendang.
Biasalah,
macam kisah manusia-manusia yang melihat hantu,
nak baca Bismillah pun terlupa macam mana.
Adrenalin membuak-buakkan.

Kali ini,saya terus lari kearah kereta.

"Gila banyak. Boleh mati kena kerjakan woh"
Saya membebel.

Tiba-tiba sahaja,
2-3 ekor anjing yang entah datang dari mana.
Berlari menghalau monyet-monyet tersebut.

"Gila menarik siot"
saya membebel untuk kali kedua..

Monyet bertempiaran.
Ibu kucing pun tiba-tiba sampai.
Lewat.
Mungkin kerana susah mahu negotiate dengan si anjing-anjing itu.
Maklumlah, both cats and dogs families have bad history kan.

Akhirnya,
si ibu membawa si kecil pergi.
Selamat.
Anjing-anjing itu pula hilang kisah.
Mungkin selamat rasanya.

Saya tersentak.
Terfikir sejenak.
Seminit dua.
Mungkin inilah apa yang orang kata.
Menjadi terbaik itu bukan pilihan yang semua orang ada setiap masa.

Kadang-kadang kita hanya mampu menjadi yang baik sahaja atau even worst menjadi slightly cruel demi untuk mencapai sesuatu.

Macam incident siang tadi, saya cuba mahu menyelamatkan si kucing kecil itu.
Dengan niat dan harapan, tidak mahu ia dilanggar kereta lain.
Tapi, beberapa perkara sampingan terjadi.
Segerombolan monyet datang menyerang.
Mungkin ia dugaan.
Tapi, saya rasa ia bukan dugaan ataupun

Mungkin,
mungkin sahaja,
Tuhan sudah takdirkan yang hari ini saya tidak dapat menyelamatkan si kucing kecil itu. Mungkin di hari lain.

Ya,saya mungkin ada niat yang baik.
Tapi,
mungkin Tuhan sudah sekali lagi takdirkan anjing-anjing itu adalah penyelamat kucing kecil itu.
Lantas merangkap gelaran 'Si Terbaik' dalam kejadian itu.
Dan saya pula, mungkin hanya yang 'Si baik-baik' sahaja.

=)

Moral of stories: Lain kali jangan cuba-cuba interfere dalam hal-hal haiwan. Mereka ada penyelesaian mereka sendiri.

p.s: Semoga kamu selamat ye Si Kecil.

Jangan tanya apa azam baru saya!

2011-01-01T23:48:00.003+10:00

Sumpah, saya tak kan mampu tulis 10 azam baru untuk tahun baru jika saya diberi 1 minit untuk menyenaraikan mereka.
Betul.
Bukan otak saya bergerak lembab atau saya malas, cuma, saya kurang gemar mencipta azam baru setiap tahun.
Bila difikir-fikirkan, jika saya buat checklist, mungkin saya hanya mampu capai 2 atau 3 sahaja azam-azam itu.
So, daripada saya ada beribu-ribu azam baru yang saya mungkin tidak akan capai, baik saya bawa kehadapan sahaja azam-azam lama itu. InsyaAllah tercapai.

Mak sedikit 'bising' hari ini.
Bercerita tentang itu, tentang ini.
Saya hanya mendengar sahaja.
Mata saya tepat melihat screen laptop.
Surfing.
Tiba-tiba, tiada hujung pangkal, dia bertanya.

Mak: So, what's your new resolution?
saya: *Diam*
Mak: Hello?
Saya: Saya tiada azam tahun.
Mak: Macam mana boleh tiada azam? Maknanya you just live your life as it is la. Tiada matlamat.
Saya: Tak.
Mak: Habis tu?
Saya: OK,Saya mahu menjadi slightly cruel; therefore, I wont be toyed around by people.

Mak lihat saya dalam keadaan pelik.
*Saya pasti dalam hatinya mungkin dia rasa pelik kenapa dia ada anak lelaki yang pelik. Sedangkan ayahnya seperti normal sahaja*

Goodbye

2010-12-30T01:57:00.003+10:00

It breaks into thousands of pieces.
A one small and solid heart.
and mind too.
There could be probably nothing that able to fix them up.
*Litte tears*
Goodbye.

A while.

2010-12-22T23:45:00.002+10:00

It has been a while.
I miss nearly everything.
You even more.

Sick.

2010-12-13T13:57:00.002+10:00

Got real sick since yesterday.

Pray for me. *tears.

p.s: I tried to find you, but you ignored me.

Saya mungkin seperti dungu.

2010-12-09T14:45:00.006+10:00

"Kadang-kadang saya benci awak"

Awak selalu merendah-rendahkan saya.

Menghina saya.

Panggil saya dungu.

Sebab saya selalu diam.

Panggil saya bodoh.

Sebab saya selalu mengalah.

Tapi,

Awak tahu kenapa saya selalu diam?

Saya diam bukan bermakna saya mengikut ataupun suka,

tetapi itulah cara saya menyatakan saya tidak bersetuju.

Awak tahu kenapa saya selalu mengalah?

Saya mengalah bukan bermakna saya penakut ataupun 'bacul',

tetapi itulah cara saya mengelakkan konflik.

Awak dan saya mungkin seperti sama,

ada rambut,

ada tangan dan kaki,

ada mulut,

tapi,

saya percaya,

hati dan pemikiran kita sangat berbeza.

2 hours

2010-12-01T17:56:00.003+10:00

"Are you crying for me today?"

That was:

the last time I stepped my feet at QUT and talked to the staffs,

the last time I walked pass by the Valley with no bags of chickens with me,

the last time I talked to friendly JB-Hifi assistant and laughed out of loud,

the last time I said "Thanx Mate. Have a good day" to bus driver.

the last time I had Krispy Kreme and sushi.

the last time I smiled to an innocent Korean Easy Way seller.

the last time for everything, here in Brisvegas.

*Tears*

p.s: When can we meet again?

1

2010-11-29T23:07:00.005+10:00

"A fine young man who has great sensitivity about life"

p.s: Prayers for you mum (Jo Carr)

6

2010-11-24T10:47:00.001+10:00

"I don't want to talk about how you broke my heart"

1. ah, I was quite busy hanging out with few mates these days. Playing game console, having coffees and etc. It was just so good to really have these remaining days left recalling the all good and sad moments from the beginning we first arrived here in Brisbane until now. Twas indeed a very much emotional conversation, but seemed trying to hinder those upsetting feelings with the best jokes and laughters that we could do. =)

2. Another 6 more days left, still reluctantly counting. *sigh* Oh, Mr. Time, you know that I never ask anything big from you since I was a toddler. I was still moving patiently; even though, you were slightly cruel to me when I was run out of times doing the assignment. But, this time, I just need you to move slower than usual. Plz?

*I must be crazy talking stuffs like these*

3. Ah, just put that feeling aside at the moment. Yes, yesterday was the best day being me as Mohd Zamri, probably the happiest one so far. Checking the results, and Allhamdulilah, I think I improved and in fact did quite well for this one hectic semester. Even though it might not be as good and best as how my other mates did; I am still proud of myself and definitely grateful to Him. The patience, the anxiousness and the almost-give-up feeling - they are just paid off. =). Praise to God, again.

It's just so good if I could have a person that I could really share this happiness with.

7 (Yesterday)

2010-11-24T10:44:00.003+10:00

"The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase, if you pursue happiness you'll never find it"

PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS? OR CREATING THE HAPPINESS?

1. Never let anyone tell you that your dream is too far from reach.

2. Never let the bitterness of others influence your decisions to have the life you want.

3. Never allow the insecurities of others creep into your mind to let them overtake your own.

4. Never forget your dreams.

5. Never believe that one person, no matter how convincing they may be, has all the answers.

6. Never forget how lucky you are to have a passion- lots of people never find theirs.

7. Always know that what scares you is usually what will make you better.

8. Always remember what makes you happy.

(Amanda, 2010)

9

2010-11-22T00:10:00.001+10:00

"I like you"

10

2010-11-20T23:38:00.003+10:00

Sayu sungguh hati ini malam ini.

Entah kenapa.

Bila cuba melelapkan mata,

tidak pula tidur hendaknya.

Ah mengapa sahaja hati ini.

Rasa seolah-olah malam ini tidak seperti malam yang biasa.

Sungguh sayu.

Benar.

p.s: I do realise too that I get easily f*ck up lately.

12

2010-11-18T21:32:00.006+10:00

"The most sexiest about a girl is her confidence"

Finally, a handbag for mum. Ah, I'm just so happy.

13 (Yesterday)

2010-11-18T11:01:00.002+10:00

"Are you an American? You just sound one"

Ah, twas another fun in this week. Hanging around with good friends at good places.

Harbour town.

Surfer Paradise.

Hardrock Cafe.

Alas, when are we going to meet again?

15 (Yesterday). 14 (Today)

2010-11-16T22:32:00.004+10:00

"Kita ini hidup bukan menongkat dunia"

Translation: We don't just live forever in this world.

I have a review of movie which I supposed to post it yesterday, but for some reasons, I couldn't finish writing it. Too tired. Ah, I promise I'll post it soon.

Anyway, I would like to wish all the Moslems 'Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha'. May you enjoy and have good moments with the beloved ones. =)

p.s: Oh, my final raya celebration here in Brisbane.

16

2010-11-14T10:18:00.004+10:00

"As long as we respect each other, everything will be just OK"

A: Do you feel jealous seeing me talking to that guy?

B: No, I'm not. I was just...

*She immediately interfered before that guy could finish his words.*

A: Good! Ah, you don't have to. You and me, we are just good friends. Nothing special!

*B left with genuine disappointment*

p.s: Too much of drama series today.

17

2010-11-13T14:47:00.011+10:00

"Keep blogging"

1. Ah, another lovely and fun day apart from meeting Jo on the other day. Fa and her friend are finally here in Brisbane. Smile. Twas just so good to see her again after our last winter holiday in New Zealand. *Welcome2!*. So, since I wanted to get some groceries stuff, we went to West End morning market today. Bringing them around and feeling the aussie weekend routine. Hehe. It seemed to be fun, I mean walking and passing by random people and others. Plus, that was my 2nd time there even though I hv been living here for almost 2years.

2. Yeah, we walked from one stall to another stall. So, I stopped at this one selling fruit stall looking for the mangoes. 2 ripe mangoes for 5aud. Who care not to stop, aye?. LOL. As I was busy looking at them, suddenly, someone tapped me from back. She smiled. I was freeze at the moment. Ah, I know her, but God, how couldn't I remember her name. She kept smiling again.

3. Gosh! My brain was so stuck and I really could not recall her name. I could only remember her last name which is 'Siong'.

She asked "Do you know me?".

"Ah, of course I know you" I whispered.

*me thinking. Keep thinking vigorously*

"It's me, Jody" She said.

*I smiled*

Yeah, it's Jody. How I could have forgotten that name! Me idiot! My profoundest apology, missy. So, we talked for a while and the mangoes were put aside for a moment. Asking about studies, workplace, life in brief and etc. Such a nice girl, I believe. Very friendly, humble and definitely easy-going person. For your information, that was our first meeting each other ever, which means, we never talked face-to-face before and it happened today unexpectedly. We have been knowing each other through blogging and friends in Facebook. So, I was quietly excited; even though I looked quite freeze and stumble a bit in front of her. LOL. Anyway, twas indeed really nice meeting and talking to you, Jody. We should probably have some cups of coffees before I'm heading back for good.

4. Ah, what really a good day today! Having good friends around, meeting new people, welcoming environment and definitely a good weather.

Can anyone tell me, how can I have no reason to stay here in Brisbane.

18

2010-11-12T18:15:00.003+10:00

"Even SHREK still deserves for happy ending"

Saya suka malam tadi.

Berjalan-jalan seorang diri di QUT.

Senyap sahaja, tapi tetap indah.

Bintang-bintang pun berkerlipan pada saya.

Mungkin, sudah lama kita tidak bersua katanya.

Yelah, sejak saya sudah berpindah. Jarang sungguh saya berjalan

diwaktu-waktu begitu.

"Hai bintang! Saya rindu awak semua"

Saya senyum.

Eh, kucing itu masih ada lagi disitu.

Betul! Si tompok yang kelihatan seperti sombong tetapi penakut. Heh.

Dia hanya keluar waktu malam sahaja.

Kasihan. Mungkin, disiang hari terlalu banyak haiwan berbulu besar yang lain.

Si anjing. Yang gebu dan terjelir lidahnya.

Jaga diri ya, si tompok.

Saya akan pulang tidak lama lagi. Oh, bila entah kita akan berjumpa lagi?

Saya pasti akan merindui semua ini.

Woolies. Kebab O'clock. Creative industries. Lain-lain lagi.

Setiap satunya.

Ah, kenapa hari berlalu dengan begitu pantas?

19

2010-11-11T16:46:00.009+10:00

"Make the best of what we have"

1. Today was just too lovely to be compared with the other boring days that I went through lately. I woke my a** up quite early this morning, went to uni and met mum (Jo Carr) in her room. Ah, what a happy lady she is! Welcoming me with her big smiles and definitely healthy this time.

* She has been sick lately; so, seeing her around healthily this time somehow makes me to feel good and happy too*

2. The conversation was pretty casual. No pressure, and Jo is always motherly when it comes to a leisure talk. She could fully lend all the ears and give some wise words to us if she felt so. So, we talked a lil bit about our academic stuffs at the beginning, but towards the end we moved slowly talking about myself and herself. She was telling that she'll be retiring possibly end of this year in December. Ah, twas indeed a shocked one, I mean really a sudden decision. I was recently being informed that our coordinator in Malaysia has been replaced with a new man, and today, I got to know that she's going to 'leave' us too. Hmm, how could I not to feel at least 'missing something' feeling . "It's time, zam. Let me be a good grandma and play more happy musics". I smiled. Ah, she's probably in many ways. She would need a proper rest after so long managing and coordinating this twinning program. Yup, for many years, since my seniors times, I could see a lot of her great contributions on this program besides the other important people like Bob, Jan and Mary. She must've been tired, I reckon. Plus, her health condition seems to be finer if she could have more rests and play with the grandchildren.

3. Ah, don't you worry about us, Jo. Even though knowing that you're retiring from academic field might sounds a bit bitter to me, but I'm absolutely happy for you and so the others too, I bet. Thank you very much for everything that you have provided for me here since the beginning. Your inspiring words, your lovely pats on the back, everything. My sincerely thank you. I'll be missing you very badly.

Take care, madame.=')

Play more musics.

20

2010-11-10T08:55:00.004+10:00

"If everyone could think, there might be less conflicts or zero war"

20 more days left exactly from today before I'm leaving Brisbane for good.

*Now I know precisely how the seniors used to feel*

Every night, I'm thinking hardly to have at least a reason that can make me to stay here.

Not because of entertainment and freedom that it offers, but because of the place itself.

I just love Brisbane as B.R.I.S.B.A.N.E.

Indeed, a very lay back, peaceful and welcoming place.

Unsurprisingly, Brisbane has been a very good and wonderful 'teacher' for me teaching about how life works.

For some cultural and humanistic reasons, I feel more appreciated and acknowledge here.

I have learnt about the real friendship who could be with you through thin and thick,

not only among the local people but in thinking-Malaysian group as well.

No matter where I go; I could feel a strong sense of belonging.

I am being called politely as a 'mate' rather than inappropriate terms or adjectives.

ah, there are just too many random friendly people who could say hello to you for not a big reason.

How am I going to leave these good things for certain of somethings which I think they shouldn't work that way?

Yes, I miss mum, dad, and the whole family.

I miss the foods.

I miss breathing in my country, who doesn't?

but, definitely not the inappropriate attitudes which I think 'certain of them' still fail to overcome.

Lack of sense of respect.

Lack of good manners.

Lack of here and there as a basic human being.

ah, if this 'certain of them' could do at least a rational thinking for them, probably it is a good place that invites everyone to come.

p.s: Well, I'm still looking the right euphemism for this 'certain of them'.

happy-nise?

2010-11-09T20:59:00.006+10:00

"When was the last time I get real happy?"

Lately, I realise that blog seems to be a main place for me to pour my feelings on. Even though, most of the posts were written quite short, but I really found a lot of satisfactions and relieve transforming those discontented feelings into words. Mum said sometimes it is better writing or drawing than barking if we felt screwing up, and I think it works on me. She is just super genius!

p.s: Ah, it is better to have something rather than nothing to be share with. =)

farewell.

2010-11-08T22:49:00.005+10:00

It was indeed a very emotional night for me.

I seemed to smile looking at them, at every face to be exact.

Laughing, teasing and cracking some good jokes with them.

Nodding when they left to say 'see you again'.

But, I could not deny that it's really upsetting me.

It's even worst for not able to see both of you.

Thank you very much for the cake.

Sunyi.

2010-11-05T11:46:00.003+10:00

Hari-hari yang sunyi,

memang sepi,

dan mungkin akan lebih sunyi lagi pada hari-hari yang akan mendatang.

........

a sister and a 'sister'?

2010-09-26T17:04:00.007+10:00

*Heart discreetly whispered*

Sometimes, I wish that I could have at least one good sister.

A younger or elder good sister.

Really. This is not random, but it's just something that I have never spoken to anyone before.

I feel embarrassed to talk about it because I find it as something personal.

But, to be real honest,

I could feel that my life would be probably better if I had two best ladies that I love most in life;

'mum and a sister'

If mum was too busy, she is there for me to talk EVERYTHING with.

I will definitely not resort her as a last person to share with.

She will be my best confidante for the rest my life.

She will be 'Kau ilhamku'.

How wonderful life is, if now, she is here.

She'll be definitely the first one that will know, how significantly screwed I am now.

A guarantee:

To sooth me.

To pat me.

To keep messaging and asking about me.

But unfortunately, 'if' is just a journey of life.

A future that no one knows about its certainty.

*Heart sighed*

Stop dreaming, zam.

Keep moving.

Mum says that you are a strong-hearted guy.

Keep that in your mind.

Coax

It's not a big deal not to have a dreamed sister or any relative.

You have been through all the hardships lonely.

So, why should there be a question about a 'sister' now?

p.s: If I really have a sister, I'll tell her that "I really need you, sis"

Lega.

2010-09-14T19:28:00.001+10:00

Lega. Sedikit.

Hilang segala resah and sedih.

Walaupun sekejap tapi bermakna.

Janji-janji itu pasti akan disimpan.

Terima kasih.

Till then, my friend.

2010-08-20T01:52:00.007+10:00

Goodbye Min Jun.

작별 인사 hyung!

*You will probably curse me if I tried to call you this again*

8 months with you were totally indescribable, really precious.

From an outsider, to a friend and turn be close brothers in the end.

I really enjoyed having a good company like you.

We seem to have a very same wavelength since the beginning.

We could drink together.

We always play Fifa together.

We curse each other.

and We even sometimes tease people together.

That's really nice eh?

But, tonight, when I start thinking, you are leaving tomorrow,

it makes me feel a lil bit sad. Probably, very sad.

I could sense my loss.

Unit 7 is indeed not complete with you.

There's no more your strong coffee.

There's no more a late night conversation at the verandah.

There's no more a phrase 'sleep well lar' after the Fifa game.

There's no more the smell of your cigarette's smoke.

*sigh*

But, it's all right.

People don't stay. They come and they go.

Same goes to you, me and everybody.

Go home, my friend.

I know, you miss your country alot.

I know, you miss to breath with korea's air.

A place where you born.

Our friendship does not stop till here.

It is progressive as long as we want to keep it going.

Till then, min jun.

Have a safe trip.

Don't cry. =)

Your friend,

Zam.

p.s: Get a partner a.s.a.p. once you are in Korea and practise more for your fifa. LOL! Just kidding.

sad

2010-08-18T10:02:00.002+10:00

Thinking of someone who is leaving soon undeniably makes me to feel a lil bit sad.

*sigh*

p.s: I hate to say goodbye.

S*it!

2010-08-09T23:38:00.003+10:00

So, here's the short post.

My plan to stay up tonight might just cancel.

Obviously, I'm not doing that on purpose.

*Come on! I am a man of promise* Wink2! LOL.

Yeah, put all the blames on that bloody cup of coffee.

S*it! I didn't know coffee just makes me to think less.

Or probably not to produce any thoughts at all.

Even though, a friend of mine disagreed about it when I posted up on FB.

"Don't blame the coffee for not producing any thoughts,"

But, I still feel that that coffee tu yg bersalah.

Like seriously!

Moral of the story:

To stay up at night, don't substitute the energy drink with the coffee. No good.

M-Fest 2010

2010-08-06T23:20:00.008+10:00

Allhamdulilah.

M-fest is just over. One of the big events that I involved and got myself to lead, which I guess, went pretty good and probably 'happening' in a history of my life. Even though, there were numbers of unexpected hiccups which did happen here and there during the event. However, I believe that we (The committees and I) managed to encounter and solve all the issues clinically.

Yeepii! We finally made the plan (of cohort 4 and 5) to happen.

All the hard works paid off!

Big crowds!

Lecturers happy!

Foods 'laku'!

Lotsa big smiles!

Those are more than enough to make me to feel happy satisfied. Nothing could I say other than thank you very much to all the committees, my beloved people who worked really hard to make this big event a successful one. You guys are rox!

Suratan.

2010-08-03T12:22:00.002+10:00

Dibuang begitu sahaja.

Diambil jika perlu.

Dipilih jika tiada pilihan.

Mungkin begitu suratan takdirku.

Aku redha.

Itu yang pasti.

Redha.

Where the 'us' have been?

2010-07-29T23:17:00.005+10:00

You know,

it feels so yesterday,

or maybe few hours ago,

when we met and sat beside each other.

On the bench, I talked to you,

looking at the moon, finding the stars and talking about the future.

I felt so valued. You gave me with your very best and precious smiles,

teasing me with your lame jokes

that makes me to feel so special even though I am not.

Holding a cup of coffee, listening, giggling,

you nodded your head for every single of my word,

even though you know, I was just crapping of something.

But, you didnt know, I felt so valued.

Now,

it seems to be different.

No more giggling, no more listening.

Maybe the bench that we used to sit together,

is no longer there.

The stars that we used to find,

have started to appear.

The moon that we used to stare,

have been covered by the black clouds.

No more coffee, no more smiles,

no more 'us'.

no more 'we'.

New passion. (50mm)

2010-07-27T11:08:00.006+10:00

p.s: Dealing with pictures and camera has made me to forget my past. =')

I need someone to guide me back

2010-06-11T16:34:00.003+10:00

"Bagai jatuh ditimpa tangga"

A proverb which I shall say describing me pretty well at the moment.
A proverb which I have to agree illustrating every inch of depression that I am goin' through now.

[Well, it might not as bad as how I think, but, that's what I feel]

Pathetic? Yes people! You are absolutely true.
I could sense that I am significantly screwed up with number of things.

I had a big-time of sucky week.
I had an unsatisfied assignment result which I considered as sucky.
and
yes, I will probably face few upcoming sucky moments lagi lepas ni.

Lately, things are not happy working on my way.
I had lotsa disagreements with stuffs especially things that involve my emotion.
Yes, I know and I dont' need to consolidate it. World does not revolve around us. A fact which I am completely aware about . I could not dictate every single of thing to do as I said.

I could not ask people to like me.
I could not expect to win every match that I play in FIFA.
I could not even ask my lecturer to give me A for every assignment.

Tapi, can I just have something 'meaningful' that would make me to feel sort of
"Yes, zam. It's fine. You are doing all right,"
"It doesn't matter. You are doing great, zam"

Can I have those feelings?
Can I have someone (which I used to have) to pat on my back and tell that to me?

Yes, at this point, I admit that I might sound a lil bit childish.
A boy who still looks for his mum's help.

Tapi, honestly, I really feel helpless and somehow hopeless now.
Plz, I need someone to guide me back.

Learn.

2010-06-09T23:19:00.003+10:00

People learn.
We learn.
You learn.
I learn.
Everybody.

But, how many of us could ensure that we really learn and look well after the process? Do we reach to the extent of reflecting for every single that happen in our chapter of life?

p.s: At this point of time, it might be something good to have somebody that I could talk with. Really.

silence period.

2010-04-27T10:51:00.005+10:00

I know,
it has been a while or I shall say, very ages I didn't post anything here.
Updates, current news, feelings. No, not any.
I have made less contacts with my blog and the others as well.
Reason? Hmm.
Perhaps, it's just me do not feel inspiring to write anything.
But, yeah, when the time comes, I'll be back to write again.

Take care everyone.

We live alone.

2010-02-04T14:16:00.005+10:00

When you think that
you are needed,
actually you are not.

When you feel that
you are strong enough to against and overcome things,
actually you are not.

When you believe that
you could stand as tall as you can,
actually you are not.

and

When you think that
you could be part of them,
maybe it'll just remain as a dream.

We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.

I learn.

2010-02-04T01:37:00.006+10:00

As time passes by, I could not resist,
life has given me so much of things which I believe,
might be too tacit to be written in books.
Covert and overt, from one to two,
I learn a bundle of knowledge, moral values, humanistic sense
which are hardly to gain.

Days after days,
minutes after minutes.
from reds to greens,
from light to dark.

I learn better to respect the eldest regardless their societies boundaries.
I learn better to understand and appreciate people by looking at their eyes.
I learn better to sacrifice myself to redeem for others' happiness.
I learn better to distinguish between hopes, dreams and moments.
I learn better to put more smiles on face even though I might hurt.
I learn better to shed the tears and hide my feelings deep into my heart.
I learn better to judge and evaluate things from a huge array of perspectives.
I learn better to use the curse words in appropriate way and time.

This list might go on and on as how the time passes by.
Even though, I might choose to stop learning,
yet the minutes are still ticking,
yet the days are definitely still passing.
That shows life must go on no matter how mess it is.

'Life is too short, so go harder'

Finally.

2010-01-29T20:36:00.009+10:00

Presenting,
My new fav.

TAG Heuer Grand Carrera Calibre 17RS2

CORUM ADMIRAL CUP

p.s: Finally, they are in my collection.

My fav

2010-01-25T22:02:00.003+10:00

What makes me to remind at her a lot?
Well, if I happened to ask her, this little girl would be definitely using the same answer for every her taken meal.

"Sibuk je,"

p.s: She just makes me to sound so 'kepochi'! sigh. Still, I miss her badly.

22.

2010-01-21T16:14:00.012+10:00

Happy Birthday, Zam.
May all the blessings of Him would remain on you.
May all the dreams and your wishes come true.
May all the happiness come to meet you.

And,
May you stand tall in overcoming and walking through things.
Remember, being a 22-year-old-man might not be easy though.

p.s: As I'm writing this, up here in my mind, I have a random thought to get a small cake for myself. But, a cake with no people around might be meaningless. So, I choose to just rot at the coffee shop instead. Hmm...

*Coffee, please.*

A Sacrificer (with capital 'S')

2010-01-20T20:57:00.005+10:00

So, here is the story. I have been watching and randomly reading quite a number of romantic stuffs lately. Short stories, poems, movies and so on. I know, this is a way too bizarre and 'jiwa-jiwa' to be done by me. But, I couldn't resist that romantic stuffs are absolutely cool things to be immersed at times. It s calming and somehow, it helps to sooth me down. Ergo, my cognition has made a sweet deal to join heart this time.

So, based on my recent activities, I came to a conclusion where there are always three main characters that involved in any plot of love story.

*Perhaps, this might apply in real life too*

1) A man.

- This is a most vital character in any typical form of love story. (Unless, the story is based on the lesbo couples). Considering to be as always a lucky one, this 'A man' usually will end with a 'happily ever after with his loved partner. Should be a hunk, a hunk and always a hunk.
Sound good huh?

2) A woman.
- Well, another character which seems to complete another half of typical love story. A woman or romantically term is called as (?) *Darn! I lost the word* is being created to establish the sense of hatred or love in the story. As everyone knows, this character is always the one that going to attach to her lucky man.

3) A Sacrificer.
- A Sacrificer (with capital 'S') is always depicted as a lame and pathetic romeo. The presence of him is not recognized or even being addressed by everyone but he is always there throughout the whole love story. And, why did I call him as a pathetic one? Simple! 'A Sacrificer' is always there to enlighten 'a woman' that he lovely adores, but being left when he is no longer needed by his 'a woman'.
Sigh.

p.s: Kahlil Gibran- The broken wings.
p.s.s: I'm seeing more things now.

Misconstrue

2010-01-09T15:31:00.006+10:00

I never deny
substitutions always could play a big role in our life.
It might reach to an extent where we have to keep the tears behind our smiles just to please the others.
Tears=Smiles.
It is a way too painful to cope with, huh?.
But, who cares?
No one might want to know about it.

p.s: It hurts when people simply misconstrue you.

Informal but not infernal.

2010-01-06T16:30:00.004+10:00

*short, spontaneous and random update*

Unusual, dull and wordless seem to match me lately.
Too many disagreements occur.
Yet, solution is not found.
Damn me!
Seriously.

This morning, instead of rotting at home with no usual noises that I always do.
(or mum will get worried later, and keep asking me)
So, I told her that I'll be going out and chillax somewhere.
*Well, I used a reason to find a proper internet connection and meet few mates*
She seemed to be reluctant at the end beginning and keep asking with thousands ques.
*Obviously, it's a way too bizarre when suddenly, I wanted to meet friends in the morning*
That was rare and random.
But, finally, I manage to end up here in Mcd.
Rotting alone with a cup of tea.

There are not too many people.
But, still, it is fucking bising.
*Malaysians. I whispered*
When I was hoping a pleasant and calming surrounding,
oh fuck. It's not there.
But, still, I love the music that they play. I love their laughter too. Soothing..
At least, there is a remedy that please me.
At least....

5.15pm, Mcd.
Informal but not infernal.

p.s: I just realize that I have been using too much of 'random' words lately.
p.s.s: I left all my phones too and I miss the banana pie. sigh...

...

2010-01-03T13:03:00.001+10:00

I'm seeing too many things now.
Enough said.

p.s: It's always me.

2010-01-01T16:11:00.001+10:00

I'm sick.
I'm f***ed.
Rasa sgt marah.
Tiba2.

Certainly, a call for an oblivious.

2009-12-25T10:49:00.008+10:00

Too many things happened lately. Too many.
Yet, I'm not stronger as how I supposed to be.
*sigh*

Why?
Hurm, questions of 'Why' seem to be rhetorical lately.
With no definite answer.

"You are a strong-hearted guy. But, perhaps, this time, it might involve too many factors,"
A friend of mine told.

Clueless.
I feel too oblivious at the moment. Merely a nitwit but a mess, to be precised.
I could feel that I am losing my moxie. I am losing my wise thoughts.
Running, ditching and waving me behind. Alas!
I am trying to walk with all the moments that I have.
Whenever I fall, I keep trying to stand back.
As tall as proud I could.
Yet, I'm not stronger as how I supposed to be.
I keep persuading my heart that everything is all right.
I keep putting more smiles on a face.
But, trying to look as a happy guy when you are not is certainly not easy.
I know and I'm well precised about it.

p.s: Happiness is too short for me.

I am pathetic.

2009-12-22T10:24:00.007+10:00

1. Sometimes, I could feel that I am a very lucky person to be as how I am now. Having a solid upbringing from a totally responsible family which definitely makes me to feel good and even better for not being a person who will 'fuck you harder if you fucked me hard'. At the same time, I am not saying that I am a person yang selalu boleh sabar. But, I just find that it is really pointless for being one. And If I urged to do so, I guess, I might have no concrete reason to put in my argument.

2. However, along the way in making of being a good one, I know, when I am trying to behave well to people, numbers of them might take me just for granted. Play around, get wicked and when they get a real shot, they will push you from back. Well, I am not trying to complain or even to say bad about you. But, please, give no shit to 'accepting people as how they are' if you never know the connotation and denotation meaning of it.

3. I know, I am not a COOL dude (as how you define). I am not a charming and good-looking person as how you see the others. I'm well understand with that and I ain't people to tell me. But, hell no, that doesn't mean you could call me with with those inappropriate words, heartless describe me as something disgusting and other fucking shits. I never care to come and 'harass' you, why should you?

4. I am not an arsehole who always bark at people. I am not nurtured to be that way. But, God is the most just and he knows better than the others of what his hamba should deserve for. We are not meant to be in this world forever. Think about it.

My boys.

2009-12-21T12:41:00.012+10:00

1. Technically, I have another 3 more days to spend in Brisbane b4 I head back to Malaysia. It is supposed to be excited but hell no, I don't exactly feel so. Yeah, I do miss my family in Malaysia and I really want to meet a bunch of my close mates over there. But somehow, the feeling is just not there. I feel somber or to be precised, unhappy to leave Brisbane (As if I'm going back to Malaysia for good). It is ridonculous and I could sense that I'm gonna miss Brisbane dearly alot (I have to admit that I have this feeling rasa xsedap hati yang amat sangat for this homecoming). And it is so TRUE, I become so fragile and a lil bit sentimental lately. I have been thinking quite alot and not to forget imagining my days in next year with no Pavi around. Alas, Denish will be in different house too. That's more even worst when you use to stick together and suddenly end up with pieces. Hurm. It's a way too sad to think about and no one knows how it screws me a lot. Seriously.

2. Few days back, when I told a friend of mine that I have my boys in my priorities list, I really meant it for every single of my word. I seem to be an arsehole and sicko sometimes, but they might never know how worth they are to me. No one can expect and doubt of my willingness to sacrifice my happiness, my joys and even myself for them. For me, it's not totally something moron to be done pun by giving all the things that I have but having a best relationship with precious people is something priceless, man. What more, when you are just the only child in your family. You care and tend to put more attention on things that you never have a chance to have. Seriously. It doesn't matter how certain of them could be bisa at times and playful too but as long as you are sincere at understanding and placing the priorities appropriately in a friendship, that should be enough, blokes. That's how we get together and also, that's how we strengthen our bonding with each other.

3. Next year, as uni is going to begin, no one can deny that things will be slightly changed. When some of us are no longer together as we used to have, trust me, certain changes will definitely happen. Don't give a shit to "Distance makes heart grow fonder,". It's never true and the reason people create that line is solely for the sake of trying to sooth people who are in that case. But, sigh...
There is nothing much that I could say here. I just hope that we can remain together as how we use to do, we can still blow the same trumpet as how we use to talk and we can still get to each other if we needed to do so.

Till then and thanx alot for everything, boys.

Soon.

2009-12-19T18:27:00.002+10:00

I'll update you soon.
Sorry for leaving you too long.
Promise.

For some reason, I can't explain.

2009-11-13T23:44:00.010+10:00

I really feel to write at least something tonight.
But, my mind is too blur and soggy.
Everything seems to be not really right.
And I know, I'm just not OK as usual.
I could feel the sense of uneasiness in me.
While my eyes keep blinking with lotsa of sorrows,
my lips whisper the undefined feelings to my mind.
Somehow, I feel that I'm so hurtful, somber, dull...
which happen due to no reason.

*sigh*

p.s: Yesterday, when I told a friend of mine, life gets tougher from day to day, I really mean it.

me.

2009-11-12T10:30:00.001+10:00

Somewere over the rainbow
Way up high
And the dreams that you dream of
Once in a Lullaby I...

Somewere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dream of
Dreams realy do come true...

Ohhh

Some day I wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind...Me
And where troubles melt like lemon drops
High above the Chimney tops
Thats where..
You'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dare to
Dreams realy do come true

Ohhh yes

Dreams come true

p.s: I keep playing the same song since the past few days.

I'm so sorry

2009-11-06T23:39:00.004+10:00

I'm so sorry, ma'am.
I didn't mean to get your night tougher.
I know, u were so exhausted.
and I could see it with no doubt.
But, seriously, I could bet on it.
It was really unintentionally done.
You came to ask me when I was a bit 'mamai'
and I answered you with no thoughts at all.

You left the bus and as well as the guilty in me.
My profoundest apology to you.

p.s: This bus is going to roma street.

random thought.

2009-11-04T06:49:00.007+10:00

Pardon me for being a person who might make a generalization
to everybody.

But, I always believe that,
certain people might find that it is not an easy task for them
to fake the feeling.
To deny their anger.
To put aside their jealously.
To keep the tears behind their smiles.
Really. And it's more even worst when people start to have this
syndrome called Skeptical-ism.
Which, perhaps, at the end, would 'kill' anybody in a shot.
Seriously.

That's not pathetic

2009-11-01T10:08:00.007+10:00

When it comes to music,
everyone might call me an old-school.
Oh, I don't really mind about it.
Like seriously.
As a listener who has a strong passion in music,
I choose the songs which I think would only pleasure me.
And this one song has been my all-time favourite since I was 6
(Huh! It's kinda weird for a 6-year old boy to listen to this type of songs)
Whenever I feel that I'm alone,
I'll immediately switch on this song.
It's soothing, entertaining,
and definitely accompanying me along the sorrow.
Somewhere over the rainbow.

Brotherhood

2009-10-27T09:10:00.005+10:00

Perhaps, this is what we called brothers.When he knows that you might be upsetting or depressing with something, he'll definitely come to ask you.
(Even though, you are far away)

"You're all right, man?," he asked.
"Yeah. Why?," I said. (Denying the himself)
"You seems to be.... Nah, forget it," he replied.

Then, he leaves with a big question mark on his face. Seem not to be satisfied with the answer. In the next few minutes, he comes again. Asking for a same question. But, this time with a different way.

"Are you sure, man?,"
"Yes, I am,"
"I don't really think so,"

*Now is thinking hard of something how to cover up himself*

"Nah, I'm just tired. Don't worry, man,"

Sometimes, it really makes me to ponder, looking at the scenarios of brothers or sisters are fighting each other. Don't you think it's a blessing if you could have people like 'abang' or 'adik' to be around us?