*Heart discreetly whispered*
Sometimes, I wish that I could have at least one good sister.
A younger or elder good sister.
Really. This is not random, but it's just something that I have never spoken to anyone before.
I feel embarrassed to talk about it because I find it as something personal.
But, to be real honest,
I could feel that my life would be probably better if I had two best ladies that I love most in life;
'mum and a sister'
If mum was too busy, she is there for me to talk EVERYTHING with.
I will definitely not resort her as a last person to share with.
She will be my best confidante for the rest my life.
She will be 'Kau ilhamku'.
How wonderful life is, if now, she is here.
She'll be definitely the first one that will know, how significantly screwed I am now.
To sooth me.
To pat me.
To keep messaging and asking about me.
But unfortunately, 'if' is just a journey of life.
A future that no one knows about its certainty.
Stop dreaming, zam.
Mum says that you are a strong-hearted guy.
Keep that in your mind.
It's not a big deal not to have a dreamed sister or any relative.
You have been through all the hardships lonely.
So, why should there be a question about a 'sister' now?
p.s: If I really have a sister, I'll tell her that "I really need you, sis"