suddenly...

To those who might feel I was different just now,

Firstly,

I would like to apologize to each of my brothers for being quite inappropriate tadi (That's what I felt). I feel that I might just killed a happy mood of our dinner tadi in a very short period with my 'unpleasant' behaviour. I'm sincerely sorry for every single 'unseen' things that happened. Believe me or not, I never had any intention or even a 'niat' to do that from deep of my heart. This is only due to the 'unsuall-ness' things that manipulate me. Thousands of apologies.

I know.

I would appear to be a slightly different person when I had a routine of dinner with you guys. It happened very suddenly which turned me to be unconscious. Experienced a mixture of 'undefined' feeling which at the end would lead to a discontented phenomenon. I had been so quiet during our dinner time tadi. My mind kept 'beserabut' and my body was never stopped from shivering as I was forcing myself to be still. Thousands of apologies.

I know.
As I started to join a dine table, the crowd turned to be so dull. Voiceless. Every single of us was silent as if there was no such issue to talk about. A circle of brothers who always appear to be so 'kepochi' was not talking as much as usual. Everyone seemed to be in a deep thought where no one was care about the noises which we can hear from outside.

"zam, you are alright?,"

"You are not feeling well?,"

"kenapa mcm runsing je ni?,"

Socratic questioning came in. However, I resisted to answer. Let them be rhetorical. As not to worry the brothers, I simply nodded my head. Pavi's smirk seemed to be unsatisfied with the answers. What a fake of me...!

I know.
He continued to pick up a conversation by 'tegur' the shaking of my legs.

"It's not good to shake your legs while eating, zam,"

"Why?,"

"It will shake your enzymes, "

"Good. Let them shake then,"

Pavi, I'm sorry for being tough with you tadi. The shaking of my legs annoyed you kan?....
Thousands of apologies to everyone.

Thousands of apologies to everyone.