1. I used to lean my head on my mum's thighs when I guess I really need a person to talk with. Both of us did talk, did share and not to forget we also sometimes did exchange with each other about the happiness, the depression and as well as the reasons of both our tears. It was so lovely you know. When you really can have someone who never and ever grumble at listening and what more, to understand to each of our utterance. I have to admit. Talking to my mum has somehow made me to feel relieve and motivate to continue my steps ahead. Maybe, that is what we called 'chemistry'. A strong bonding that is indirectly built regardless any inch of facade or I shall say a 'boundary' in order to provide us to love with each other.
2. Tonight seems to be unpleasant. I merely fail to deal with my own cognition which I believe slightly rare to happen. A disagreement between my emotion and my self-intuition is started to appear. As I am trying to stand, I keep falling again. As I am trying to breath, something is just choking back my neck. Maybe this is what will happen when our heart begins to speak. I'm trying to be careless, I'm trying to hang out more but somehow I feel that I'm just lacking a courage to do it. When mum is far away at home, I guess the only one that I can talk with is 'her', my confidante.
3. Well, don't ever get me wrong, friends. You guys know how wonderful I am to have each of you to be in my circle of friends which I really can count on. A bunch of priceless brothers and sisters who never and ever fail to make me smile, to cheer me up and to make me day to be even better. And you also know how am I willing to sacrifice myself just to make the same things back to everyone of you. But, sometimes, I guess, I just need someone who can simply comprehend my standard of wavelength. Someone who can actually predict of what I am thinking and going to say next. So, I did look for her and somehow I tried to talk (We talked abit). Tapi, throughout the conversation, I know how busy was she trying to settle down some works tonight and I also well comprehend with sort of dilemma that she is facing now. Even though, she was trying deny about it, but still, I know (I'm sorry if I did disturb you). So, I chose to stop.
4. I guess, I have been too sensitive lately. I don't know why and I just still can't figure out the reason of why I behave so. The rhetorical is not answered or maybe not yet. When I started to think back, I feel that somehow I'm just losing my old self. Being overly sensitive, easily to get offended and few other qualities which I guess not supposed belong to me . It's definitely strange when I discovered myself not as stronger as before. The strength is disappeared or perhaps, it went missing somewhere. There are just too many denying remarks on me. Seriously. For the God sake, I really hate of my current self. Call me 'an ungrateful being'. I guess, I deserve for it. Tapi, percayalah. I have been trying for so long and in fact I am still giving my best try to retrieve my own sweet faith which I used to have on myself.
I really need a light to guide me back.
and please, I beg to return me back to my'old-wise'self. Please.
2. Tonight seems to be unpleasant. I merely fail to deal with my own cognition which I believe slightly rare to happen. A disagreement between my emotion and my self-intuition is started to appear. As I am trying to stand, I keep falling again. As I am trying to breath, something is just choking back my neck. Maybe this is what will happen when our heart begins to speak. I'm trying to be careless, I'm trying to hang out more but somehow I feel that I'm just lacking a courage to do it. When mum is far away at home, I guess the only one that I can talk with is 'her', my confidante.
3. Well, don't ever get me wrong, friends. You guys know how wonderful I am to have each of you to be in my circle of friends which I really can count on. A bunch of priceless brothers and sisters who never and ever fail to make me smile, to cheer me up and to make me day to be even better. And you also know how am I willing to sacrifice myself just to make the same things back to everyone of you. But, sometimes, I guess, I just need someone who can simply comprehend my standard of wavelength. Someone who can actually predict of what I am thinking and going to say next. So, I did look for her and somehow I tried to talk (We talked abit). Tapi, throughout the conversation, I know how busy was she trying to settle down some works tonight and I also well comprehend with sort of dilemma that she is facing now. Even though, she was trying deny about it, but still, I know (I'm sorry if I did disturb you). So, I chose to stop.
4. I guess, I have been too sensitive lately. I don't know why and I just still can't figure out the reason of why I behave so. The rhetorical is not answered or maybe not yet. When I started to think back, I feel that somehow I'm just losing my old self. Being overly sensitive, easily to get offended and few other qualities which I guess not supposed belong to me . It's definitely strange when I discovered myself not as stronger as before. The strength is disappeared or perhaps, it went missing somewhere. There are just too many denying remarks on me. Seriously. For the God sake, I really hate of my current self. Call me 'an ungrateful being'. I guess, I deserve for it. Tapi, percayalah. I have been trying for so long and in fact I am still giving my best try to retrieve my own sweet faith which I used to have on myself.
I really need a light to guide me back.
and please, I beg to return me back to my'old-wise'self. Please.
1 comment:
keep on trying zam! n never ever give up!
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